{click to enlarge DMV mugshot}
"I make things go" (1)
What would you say ya do here? (2)
Mostly my job around here is to keep Gary in check...mostly (3). For those that have ever worked with us or ever will work with us, you know that Gary writes the checks but I'm the one who signs & cashes them.
I'm over day-to-day operations and making sure we deliver on what we promise. You may not deal with me directly but I'm usually coaching from the sidelines. Also I come up with witty remarks and metaphors that Gary will most likely work into his "Daily repertoire of over-used catchphrases." I'm kind of a big deal (4).
I fit in around here because...
"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and, doggone it, people like me." (5) My mom says I'm cool (6), too.
hob•by | noun
1. An activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation and not as a main occupation: Her hobbies include stamp-collecting and woodcarving or making soap.
Yeah, that whole "not as a main occupation" throws a wrench into the works. Not relating to computers, I like movies, comics & hockey. I live a pretty uninteresting life.
And that's it and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this; just this ashtray. (7)
If I had to pick some favorites, which I do so the point's "moo" (8), I'd say my favorite movie was "Boondock Saints." Excessive use of violence, language & Wilum Dafoe as a cross-dressing prostitute? Where do I sign up? Anything with Will Ferrell is a good backup.
Favorite book? Well, I love "The Punisher" comic book series but I don't know if that counts since they technically have fewer words than a Dr. Sues children's book. For a real novel, I'd say "Fight Club" by Chuck Palaniehuk. I just like his writing style.
Since I mentioned Hockey as a hobby above I'll come out and say my favorite team is the Philadelphia Flyers. They used to be good. Right now they're dead last.
You can argue with me but I feel most professional sports have gone the way of MTV. Everyone wants to be the superstar & be featured on "Cribs" or "Yo! MTV Raps!"
Hockey still seems pure to me. I mean, who can't respect a player who knowingly forgoes the right to have teeth only to be made fun of for NOT having a mullet, eh?
...and also I like Tennis (9).
Happy Happy Joy Joy (10)
Foremost is my wife, Anjelee. She really is an amazing woman. That's all I'm saying because my incoherent blabbering won't do her justice.
Beyond that I try to keep things in balance.
My dogs can always make me smile. I have three currently; a yellow Labrador retriever, a black Lab & an American Bulldog.
Movies can take my mind off the stresses of the world and provide a quick 120 minutes of entertainment.
Computers make me happy as well. Hence, why I'm doing what I am.
Footnotes (11)
- Star Trek
- Office Space - "Well look, I already told you! I deal with the customers so the engineers don't have to! I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people! Can't you understand that? What is wrong with you people?"
- Southpark - Cartman - "Dude, when my mom finds out that my babysitters have their boyfriends over, she mostly gets really mad, mostly"
- Legend of Ron Burgandy
- Stewart Smalley
- Simpsons - Milhouse
- The Jerk - "And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need."
- Friends - Joey - "it's like a cow's opinion, you know, it just doesn't matter. It's ‘moo'."
- Ladies Man
- Ren & Stimpy Song
- Personal Bio | Gary Norton, CEO (12)
- Did I just explain my own joke? Who else would footnote their own bio?